Her Bad Mother

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Moms Without Pants



Seriously? THEN PUT ON SOME PANTS.

********

Forgotten in the hub-bub of the week: to thank this sweet lady for awarding me a Perfect Post Award, for this post. Am really, seriously, happily honoured.

Also, to suggest that you all check out this cool bit o' bizniss. Because Larry Smith of Smith Magazine is behind it, and because Vlasic Pickles is not. I'm going to do it, whenever I can muster some creative thought. The birth of my child in 100 words or less? EASY. Why not do it in six? Baby burst out in one blast... okay, maybe this needs ten words... busting mommy's bottom - BAM!

See? GOOD TIMES. Try it.





33 Comments:

Blogger Black Hockey Jesus said...

You don't need pants to care. Your last post was so thorough and thoughtful. Now, you're recklessly linking caring to pants?

8:15 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

Haha, pants!

I can do it in six words too: "Less traumatic than the first time."

8:42 PM  
Blogger flutter said...

I have seen more of that woman's ass than I ever thought I would

9:12 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

She's just been reading a lot of Shel Silverstein. You know, that poem about all the stuff the guy put on to look perfectly grand at the dance, but what did he forget? What was it? WHAT WAS IT?!

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This really made me laugh. Yes, put on some pants.

9:29 PM  
Blogger kittenpie said...

Maybe it's a statement about not going out in track pants?

And 6 words? Hmm. Maybe:

Stubborn immovable child, eventually cut out.

Or:

Tricky you, delayed being forcibly removed.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Candygirlflies said...

One word:

Yeek!

(That's a word, right?)

xo CGF

10:05 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

BHJ - you don't need pants to care, but you do need pants to LOOK like you're caring. DUH.

10:20 PM  
Blogger motherbumper said...

OK - let's look past the lack of pantage and examine the shoes. Seriously - what is her continuing deal with dominatrix shoes? Iron Man has been filmed and promoted, stop with the method acting Gwennie.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

So, does the fact that I was eating breakfast in an oversized t-shirt and undies this morning because all of my pajama pants were in the wash mean that I am just like Gwenyth Paltrow?

Or would I need to buy some platform/spiked heels to complete the ensemble?

11:03 PM  
Anonymous lavandula said...

hahaha! moms without pants hey i run around in t-shirts and panties am i cool or what?and if i had great legs like that i'd be tempted to go out in public sans pants.

12:21 AM  
Anonymous Janine said...

Bwahahahaha. It's like one of those dreams where you forget to put on your pants. Um, or is it just me?

2:03 AM  
Blogger carrie said...

Flutter, what ass? :)

Birth in under ten words? How about: Damn upside down baby boy won't turn, too bad you ate a sandwich or you'd have him today.

Ooops, that's eighteen. I am awful at following directions.

2:39 AM  
Anonymous Polina said...

For kids - it doesn't matter if their mom is "with" or "without" pants, they will love here in both cases:)

9:22 AM  
Blogger MsPrufrock said...

Clearly I'm in the minority here, but I'm not worried about the lack of pants. I'm in such awe of those legs that I am too beseiged with envy to worry about a trifling issue such as pants vs no pants. Sigh.

9:31 AM  
Blogger MsPrufrock said...

Clearly I'm in the minority here, but I'm not worried about the lack of pants. I'm in such awe of those legs that I am too beseiged with envy to worry about a trifling issue such as pants vs no pants. Sigh.

9:31 AM  
Blogger RubiaLala said...

LOL!!! Totally hilarious and I couldn't agree more.

10:54 AM  
Anonymous lavandula said...

baby bump. out. now he loves mommys humps. awe.some.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Maman said...

What is she allegedly caring about? The teaching of anatomy?

12:41 PM  
Blogger mrsmogul said...

I saw the pickle story contest earlier but not sure if I can write it under 100 words!

7:12 PM  
Anonymous pamela H said...

Hope that is not the trend for fall. I need my pants on.

7:24 PM  
Blogger Dondi Tiples said...

Maybe they're hoping to conceive another one? Easy access and all?

10:51 PM  
Blogger Karen Sugarpants said...

I'm a big supporter to Pants Free Nights. Go Gwyneth!

1:34 AM  
Anonymous Kristin said...

There are ten billion images in this tiny post -- I am not sure which will stick more: the pants-free thing or the baby-out-in-one-blast thing, but both are characteristically brilliant. :-)

2:50 AM  
Blogger Jaelithe said...

Msprufrock, you know those legs are airbrushed, right? I mean, srsly. They have to be. Gwyneth gained 60 lbs during her pregnancy with Apple. I know because she was talking about it in a sort of a shell-shocked way on the Daily Show after her daughter was born. And you want to tell me the woman has no stretch marks and no cellulite after two pregnancies? Nuh uh. I don't think so.

9:17 PM  
Blogger THopgood said...

Um....is that a dingleberry I see hang'n from her ass? Just say'n...

1st baby - 10 lb baby is NOT coming out my hooha - C-Section NOW!

2nd baby - Steel cervix, 15 hours of labor, no dilation, C-Section NOW!

3rd baby - Scheduled C-Section 10 days before due date....oh yeah!

9:45 PM  
Blogger therapydoc said...

Oh, you need pants, make no mistake.

1:16 AM  
Blogger LD said...

ha! That's exactly what I thought when I saw that picture!

3:51 PM  
Blogger Mommy Melee said...

I'm stumbling around from blog to blog lately. Just hit this one from MamaPop because we evidently share ugly!hot men inclinations.

BEST POST EVER. Oh, Gwen.

Yeah, I'll stick around

5:57 PM  
Anonymous Vicki said...

You must wear pants to be taken seriously. I mean, who in their right mind doesn't wear pants???

And my baby story in 10 words...

Emergency delivery. Two boys. One cried. Both are wonderful now.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Dude, I can see some as cheek there. I take that very seriously.

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Inzaburbs said...

Chortling here at the thought of GP pushing her fancy stroller around London without pants, and in those very practical heels.

12:15 AM  
Anonymous Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You said...

meh - couldn't care less about celebs and their babies, because they're just moms & babies. nothing special (besides the obvious enormity of being a mom in the first place) but you - YOU - that delivery story - holy shit. OUCH is right. 299 comments later - holy shit again. LOL

I can has ice bag?

8:09 AM  

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